沒有過不去的事情，只有過不去的心情

有一個故事…………
在一座高山上有兩間廟，
甲廟的和尚們經常吵架，

互相敵視，生活痛苦；
乙廟的和尚們，常一團和氣，

個個笑容滿面，生活快樂。

甲廟的住持便好奇的前往請教乙廟的小和尚：
『你們為什麼能讓廟裡永遠保持愉快的氣氛呢？』
小和尚回答：『因為我們常做錯事。』

甲廟住持正感疑惑時，忽見一位和尚匆匆由外歸來，
走進大廳時…不慎滑了一跤，
正在拖地的和尚立刻跑了過去，扶起他說：
『對不起！都是我的錯，把地擦的太濕了！』 站在大門口的和尚，也跟著跑進來帶著歉意說： 『對不起！都是我的錯，沒有告訴您大廳正在拖地。』

被扶起的和尚則愧疚自責的說：
『都是我的錯，只怪我自己不小心，走路太匆促了！』
前來請教的甲廟住持看到這一幕，心領神會， 他已經知道答案了!

您知道了嗎？  

人們往往為了保護自己而與人爭吵或推卸責任， 殊不知認錯未必是輸， 因為認錯不但能表現出個人修養，
反省自己激勵向上， 甚至可以化暴戾為祥和。

朋友之間發生衝突，如有一方能先認錯，
戰火必然馬上平息一半。
人的一生，總會扮演各種不同的角色：
家庭中，當子女不肖時，
我們必須檢討自己是否未盡教養之責；
公司裡，當屬下績效不佳時， 我們必須檢討自己在教導管理方法上是否出了問題；
社會上，當大家責怪環境惡劣時， 我們必須檢討自己是否就是那個破壞環境的人。

轉換一下角色，今日的您或許是來日的我， 設身處地為對方著想也反省自己， 那麼，處理事情的模式將會是另外一番風貌。 渺小的我們或許並無能力為世局扭轉乾坤， 但若每個生命個體能培養勇於認錯、 對自己的行為負責的態度，
相信那股內心的平安與喜樂，將會不斷的擴散。

我很欣賞的一位主管，常常說一句話： 
「沒有過不去的事情，只有過不去的心情。」 
隨著年紀越長，越懂得這句話的涵意。



對於一些不愉快的事情，
我覺得過了就算的原因， 不是想法變得多麼成熟，
主要是因為人生太短了。

我知道
放過自己，讓生活過得快樂舒服，
不想一直數落著同樣的事情，
掉入憂慮煩惱的循環中打轉。

我明白
我們永遠無法改變別人。
因為經歷發生遺憾事情的過去，
更加懂得珍惜平安快樂的現在。 
我瞭解
不需要每件事都以指責立場不同的人來當做結論。

我們已經擁有如此美好的現在，
就不需要花時間在怨懟往事上。

讓我們把能量放在對的地方， 努力創造更美滿幸福的未來吧！

有時候
我們等的不是事情
機會
或者是誰

或許
我們等的是 … 時間

等時間
讓自己成長改變 ~ 幸福滿溢傳遞愛

生命不是用來尋找答案，
也不是用來解決問題的，
它是用來快樂的過生活。

是你变了吗？

看见你
是失落的
你比从前，不开心了

看见你
是伪装的
你不再想以前那样自然了

看见你
是冷淡的
你不再有以前的热诚了

也许....
往事只能回味

what love is?

Researchers (Hatfield & Rapson, 1995) have broken up love into two main types:

• Passionate love which involves continuously thinking about the loved one and also involves warm sexual feelings and powerful emotional reactions.
• Companionate love is having trusting and tender feelings for someone who is close to you.

Now one of the best known theories of love (which means an educated guess that isn't proven fact) is Robert Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love.

The three components of the Triangular Theory of Love are:

Passion, the feeling physically aroused and attracted to someone.

Passion is what makes you feel "in love" and is the feeling most associated with love. It also rises quickly and strongly influences and biases your judgment.

Intimacy, the feeling close and connected to someone (developed through sharing and very good communications over time).

Intimacy is what makes you want to share and offer emotional and material support to each other.

Commitment, pledging to your self and each other to strengthen the feelings of love and to actively maintain the relationship.

Commitment is what makes you want to be serious, have a serious relationship and promise to be there for the other person if things get tough.

Now Sternberg also uses his Triangular Theory of Love to answer some of the most commonly asked questions about love:

Is there love at first sight?

This is when we are overwhelmed by passion, without any intimacy or commitment (both of which take time). Sternberg calls this infatuated love, Because there is not intimacy or commitment, infatuated love is fated to fade away.

Why do some people get married after being in love for a very short time?

This is a combination of passion and commitment, but without any intimacy. Sternberg calls this Hollywood love. This is where two people make a commitment to each other based on their passion. Unless intimacy develops over time, this relationship most likely will end.

Can their be love without sex?

Ah yes, companionate love, where intimacy and commitment are present without any sexual passion.

Why doesn't romantic love last?

Passion and intimacy without commitment is Romantic love. When the passion fades, and the intimacy wanes, the relationship ends.

This a close friend sent me e-mail:

Infatuation vs. Love

Infatuation is instant desire - one set of glands calling to another.

Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time.

Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager, but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about your beloved that you would just as soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream.

Love is the quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you - to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by their presence, even when they are away. Miles do not separate you. You have so many wonderful little films in your head that you keep replaying. But near or far, you know they are yours, and you can wait.

Infatuation says, "We must get married right away. I can't risk losing them."

Love says, "Be patient. Don't panic. Plan your future with confidence."

Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. Whenever you are together, you hope it will end in intimacy.

Love is not based on sex. It is the maturation of friendship, which makes sex so much sweeter. You must be friends before you can be lovers.

Infatuation lacks confidence. When they're away, you wonder if they're cheating. Sometimes, you check.

Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. They feel your trust, and it makes them even more trustworthy.

Infatuation might lead you to do things you will regret, but love never steers you in the wrong direction.

Love is an upper. It makes you feel whole. It completes the circle. It fills the empty space in your heart. Love is elevating. It lifts you up. It makes you look up. It makes you think up. It makes you a better person than you were before. If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things you don't have. If there is no love in your life, whatever else there is has a lot less meaning.

The secret of our being is not only to live but to have something to live for.

右手边

静静地坐在你的身边
还会有多少这样的时间
我要迎着这窗外的光线
牢牢的记住你微笑的侧脸
我说了离别不会伤悲
这是我对你唯一的欺骗
因为我最喜欢你的双眼
那么美 不适合掉眼泪

你要好好的去飞 不需要对我想念
我会默默地留下右手边的座位
有一天 当你看过世界
再决定你降落的地点
而我也会继续地 奔驰在这长长的街
左手边是我的心 右手边没有谁
为了你再寂寞我都可以成全
因为我相信 说过了再见
一定会再见

大智慧

绿灯时我们总是第一个

有一个人搭了辆计程车到一个郊区不大熟悉的地方。
一路上，他和司机有说有笑。但不知为什么，一路上连续遇到五六个红灯。眼看快到达了路口，又碰到了一个红灯。这个人随口嘟哝着：“真倒楣！一路都碰到红灯，就是差那一步。”
司机转过头，露出一个很自信的笑容：“不倒楣！上帝很公平，绿灯时我们总是第一个走！”

大智慧。。。
你的人生旅途，可以看见红灯也可以看见绿灯。红灯是让我们停下来思考和欣赏的，人生旅途并不是一味的往前冲。红灯是可以驻足观赏，绿灯时可以一如既往，人生旅途，应如此面对。



失窃以后

富兰克林 . 罗 斯福曾任美国第三十二任总统。有一天家里遭小偷，被偷去很多东西。他的朋友写信安慰他。罗斯福也给朋友写了一封回信：“亲爱的朋友，谢谢你来信安慰我，我 现在很平安，感谢上帝。因为：第一，贼偷去的不是我的生命；第二，贼只偷去我部分东西，而不是全部；第三，最值得庆幸的是，做贼的是他，而不是我。”

大智慧。。。
重要的不是情况糟糕不糟糕，而是你的心态和看事物的角度是好或不好。有时学点阿 Q 精神，就会海阔天空。



开错了窗户

一个小女孩趴在窗台上，看窗外的人正在埋葬她心爱的小狗，不禁泪流满面，悲恸不已。她的外祖父见状，连忙引她到另一个窗口，让她欣赏他的玫瑰花园。果然，一扫小女孩之前的愁云，心中顿时开朗。老人说：“孩子，你开错了窗户。”

大智慧。。。
生活也是如此，我们也是常开错“窗” ，一旦看到了悲伤的一幕便久久沉积心底，无法排遣，甚至成为一生的累赘。我们从来不会想到，应该还有另外一扇窗，窗外的风景如画。

关系，乱了

为何在这条道路上，总是跌跌撞撞
坎坷的路，依然要往前
因为日子仍然要过

如果明天将要离别这世界
您会有什么遗憾？

许多事情我们无法预料，也无法做决定
世界上，能够相遇，已经难得
能够知心，不是更难得，更应该珍惜？

那....哪个才是该选择的？
当快乐跟痛楚混在一起，那是快乐还是痛？
要放弃它们，会可惜吗？
‘若无其事’是解决问题的良药？
‘逃避’是解决问题的方法？

或许快乐和痛楚也只不过是一线之差
站得远，看得比较阔

ps:多么希望我们可以坦诚相对，至少大家不会挂着问号和猜疑。